I am standing outside on the blacktop driveway, a loose tee shirt and cotton shorts are all that is between me and the sharp air around me, barefoot on this 32 degree late December evening. I am alert to the frozen breeze that creeps around all parts of my body. My skin has awoken to the dichotomy of the heat radiating from inside me, merging with the frigid winds that envelop me.
The frozen blacktop bites the soles of my naked feet and awaken the nerves in my ankles with sharp surges of sensation, bordering pain, but for now is closer to pleasure. In this moment I know that I am alive, and that I am nothing but a mass of energy; electrical currents swapping neutrons and electrons in a constant frenzy to keep the energy from burning out. It is a frenzy hastened by the threatening frozen air that is for now, tantalizing.
In rural Ohio, nighttime is only black when the clouds roll over from the lake, covering us in an invisible blanket. Otherwise, the black sky is but a backdrop to the flickering other worlds that make themselves known in a brilliant production of lights. A multi-dimensional infinite universe is presented before eyes that cannot comprehend the depth, and instead get lost in the wonder. On this night the universe is as naked and exposed as my bare feet are on the blacktop.
My body has begun to shake and the subtle pleasure that I was getting from the cold has become uncomfortable; my soles are numb and throbbing, but I don’t want to leave this moment. It is one of the few glimpses that I get of life and truth in these days where I am rushing to lose myself.
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